Note 1: This poem was inspired by an ad I saw in the subway for breast augmentation surgery. Someone had placed a sticker on the ad which said, "This ad insults women." My first thought was, "Well, couldn't men get breast augmentation surgery, too?" I had six local stops in which to write the poem, which may explain its brevity.
Note 2: For the record though, I do see how ads for breast augmentation surgery insult women. And I suppose this poem could be misconstrued as an insult to women, although that is not my intention. See Note 3.
Note 3: But I do recognize a problem: this poem clearly should be called "Tits." But I don't necessarily like the idea of me having written a poem called "Tits." The Stranglers are one of my favorite bands, but it bothers me that they have a song called "Tits." I don't know the song all that well; it could be perfectly innocuous (as I believe my poem is), but I don't know.
Note 4: I am under no misapprehension that these notes in any way mitigate any offense that may have been caused by my poem. Nor do I believe that I have exonerated myself from the charge of having given offense by acknowledging that I may have caused offense. But I don't believe there is anything offensive or malicious in this poem.
Note 5: Finally, it should be noted that when this poem is performed in public, these notes are not read, rather, I just say "This one is called 'Tits'" or words to that effect.
lyrics
I kind of think it might be nice to have tits. Like so then, if I'm in bed with a woman, we could suck each other's tits.
That sounds kind of nice.
I think that would be hot.
But it's a slippery slope, I would think.
Next I'd probably want long hair and make up and then I'd probably want most of my body hair removed and then, before you know it, I'd want a vagina, and I assume that would mean I wouldn't have a cock anymore, and that would mean that instead of fucking women in the vagina with my cock, I'd be getting fucked in my vagina, with a strap on, because I like women, and even if I had a vagina, I would still want to be fucked by women, not men, which maybe is closed minded of me but there it is.
So probably I shouldn't get tits. So probably I should stop eating so fucking much, else I'm gonna get tits.
c. 2015 John S. Hall
credits
from Fuck Sandwich,
released January 19, 2017
John S. Hall - vocals
Susan Hwang - janggu
Ray Brown - percussion
Preston Spurlock - percussion
John S. Hall is the voice of the voiceless. Sometimes you hold in the F word so long it seeps out of your ears, because you can't just come right out and say it in your everyday life.
John S. Hall has somehow found a way to say it for you. For this he is owed a great debt. teddybearsuplexxx
The duo of Artist Named You and Sol Galeano present their debut together, a conceptual and adventurous modern R&B album. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 26, 2022